Blue Like Jazz

I've been reading Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and it's really effected me. I don't usually like reading religious books. They alway strike me as too "preachy" and out of touch. But I can hardly put this one down and I see myself in every word hes written. But I couldn't exactly put my finger on why I like the book so much. As I was just reading it, the reason struck me. I like it because it's true.

This book is honest in a way that seems to be taboo in the church community. And I'm not talking about the "honest" testimonial you hear every once in a while on Sunday morning where someone gets up and speaks about that one time they drank too much but then saw the error of their ways and started to go to church again. That's not to say that person's experiences aren't valid, but this book's truths are just different. Sure he talks about drugs and alcohol, but it's what the book is about. The book is about the author's struggles with Christianity. He wrestles with the validity of the Christian religion, his issues with the institution of church and he himself getting sucked into conforming to what he thinks a Christian should look like.

I know it sounds like this book is 242 pages of church bashing and God hating, but it's not. It's about boiling down Christian Spirituality to what it was meant to be. Love. Every lesson he learns in his life, every things he struggles with and every realization he has always come back to loving others. As simple as that sounds, I think Christians these days get wrapped up in all the people and things we have to fight against and go to battle with. But that's not a Godly idea. Jesus never fought with anyone. He only loved.

I'm not even done with the book yet, but it's amazing how revealing it is about myself. I can relate to so many sentiments he brings up and all the fears and doubts he has. Yet through it all, he continues to love God and tries to love other people, as much as any human being is capable of.

It's a really encouraging and inspirational book. It's strange that ever since I've been reading it not only have I had some major revelations about my spiritual life (simply writing about my religion and not censoring myself is something major for me) but also my everyday life. Not that the book has given me any advice about whether or not to stay in school but I'm experiencing a sense of calm and acceptance. Not acceptance that my life is as it should be right now, but acceptance that my life is on the right path and things will turn out the way they were meant to. Realizing that you aren't in this alone and that you have someone watching out for you and guiding you may be extremely limiting to some, but for me it's incredibly liberating. It means I can stop lying awake at night wondering what I am doing with my life. Instead I can open my eyes during the day and see what God is doing in my life. It's the most comforting feeling in the world.

ps- yes, i did hint at me dropping out of school... more on that later ;)