Can I Be the Girl That You Met in the Coin Laundry

Roommate is in Italy (I am beyond jealous), so I have been left to my own devices lately.  Tonight I took a break from reading and writing.  I've been doing loads of research for a novel I've decided to start.  Eek!  So, in reward for the ten whole pages I've been able to muster this week, I took the night off and watched Driving Lessons, staring Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley) who I now have an unhealthy obsession with.  Am I too old for Tiger Beat posters on my bedroom walls?  There is a rumor he is attending Colorado University in the fall, I need to investigate this further.

The film was fabulous.  Mrs. Weasley (what is her name) also co-stars.  It was absolutely what I needed after the gaping whole I've been left with after finishing the last Harry Potter.  

I also ate egg plant parmesan and chocolate cake, residuals from my birthday weekend, which was fun but nothing to write home about.  Ah the double edge sword of living the life of a recluse, but more on that another day.  

I'm ending the night by recapping on my Artist Way activities and painting my nails while listening to this:

Oh, and I'm getting bangs on Friday.  This could be a very big mistake.  Updates soon.

{image found here}

You Are Never Truly Alone

I have officially finished Harry Potter, and while I feel a little lost without Harry, Hermionie and Ron (oh, especially Ron) in my life every day, I will do my best to go on with life, and supply you once again with daily random blurbs of nothingness, and thank you so much for still reading :)

I've been working on a new story.  If I may be so ambitious, a novel.  So far it's four pages.  I have a ways to go before it hits the "novel mark" but never the less, I'm very excited to be starting such a project.

This new surge in writing reminded me of a book I started a while ago that really never went anywhere.  I don't think it ever will, the idea was really unorganized and rather immature to be honest with you, but I wrote a concluse, an epliogue if you will, that I re-read today and rather like it, so I thought I'd share:

"I argued with myself a great deal about telling you the way my story ends, or begins.  It’s almost cliche, too perfect.  But looking back at the stories I’ve read and have fallen in love with, happiness is always found at the end, but there is never resolution without sacrifice.  It is true, though, that “everything’s good in the end.  If it’s not good, it’s not the end.”  I think we, as women, need to believe that there is a sliver lining and a light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to love.  No, salvation will never be found in the arms of a man.  I don’t want you to translate my happy ending as me saying you must have a man to be happy. Many of my happiest years were spent on my own, alone but not lonely, enjoying who I was and discovering the world.  I now get to do that with Luke, discover the world through two sets of eyes, but I wouldn’t trade that time to myself for a thousand years with him.  It sounds selfish but I say that because if I hadn’t had that time to discover who I truly was and what I truly stood for then I would never have been able to see in myself what Luke sees so clearly.  I would never be able to be happy with the person I have become and the person Luke loves, and in return would not be able to be the partner that Luke deserves.  Without accepting ourselves, the way we are, we cannot accept the love of others.  And without being able to accept the love of others, we cannot love those that deserve our love the most.

So this is my disclaimer of sorts.  Do not skip through these pages and see merely a fairy tale between a girl and the boy that saved her from a lonely and sad life.  Instead, I hope you find a story of spirit, perseverance and self discovery that led to the realization that when you love who and what you are, you are never truly alone."

Pearls of Wisdom

"Harry Potter is all about confronting fears, finding inner strength and doing what is right in the face of adversity… Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend."

Found here

Sirius Neglect

My apologies for being so absent as of late.  I'm reading the Harry Potter series for the first time.  My mind is in Hogwarts right now (I've dreamt about Voldemort and Harry every night since I started the second book) and I'm incapable of coming up with anything remotely interesting to say to you that doesn't involve an incantation or HP reference (i.e. the title), so I'll spare you.  My life will hopefully return to normal in a few weeks. 

The good life is inspired by love and guided by knowledge

I just registered for classes!  For most, this is a very non-exciting event, possibly met with groans for yet another stretch of being force-fed subjects that have nothing to do with your passions.  But I haven't been in an actual classroom for about 2 years so I'm pretty excited.  Of course the novelty is sure to wear off once the homework and papers start piling up, but I don't care.  I'm just reveling in the excitement the prospect of new knowledge brings, and thinking about school supplies.  Oh how I love school supplies!

{wonderful notebooks found here on Etsy}

There's a Place in Your Heart and I Know it is Love

Nothing will make you cry quite like watching Michael Jackson's daughter speak of her love for her father and then immediately hearing your own four year old start singing We Are the World.  

Decode

Hindsight.  It's what my blog is named and, for no other reason than it's what popped into my head when it came time to name the baby.  But I think it's an interesting concept to ponder.  Hindsight is, as they say, 20/20.  Looking back on many many decisions, some more recent than others, I probably should've been more guarded, less open.  This all sounds so coded and for that I apologize.  I've lost my blog footing and I'm trying to figure out where it's heading.  I love the community I've discovered here, but when is it too much?  What is the line that needs to be drawn in the public forum?  The first real open and honest post I put on here rebounded with a fantastic amount of support and love from the people I have read about and really felt connected with.  But is it worth it, when that openness and honesty collides with your real life?  The people you are writing about, those with the names and not the vague characters I've appointed to my bloggish story?  Or maybe, that honesty should translate from the computer screen into reality.  Think of what our lives would be like if we allowed ourselves to be that open and unguarded in our real, signed-off, lives.  Perhaps there would be more heartbreak, more depression, more relationships (of all kinds) ruined.  Maybe we need walls and barriers to preserve ourselves and each other.  Or maybe a guarded life is truly not lived or felt.  Because we can't know true and unabashed love and joy without soul crushing and life altering pain.

This was written in a flurry of thoughts that are still trying to push their way through.  It may not make sense but, despite the lamenting above and the fact that I swore off blogging forever an hour ago, I had to get it off my chest and had no other way to do it.  Despite a lack of anonymity the call to expression remains and the need to connect with others, electronically and otherwise is still very real.