30 May, 2009

Once Upon A Time...

JPG Magazine has a contest happening on their website.  The description goes like this:
"Once upon a time is a phrase laden with possibilities. Once upon a time... there was a beautiful princess. A terrifying wizard. A kind-hearted witch. Once upon a time signals the start of a fairy tale, stories that spark the imagination whether you're 8 or 80. 
For this theme, we want your photos capturing this spirit of imagination and inspiration, and all of the colorful characters involved."
Such a fun contest.  Click on the link and you can vote on your favorite.  Here's a few that stuck out so far.









29 May, 2009

God Can Be Funny

Oh oh oh!  I am so excited for the new Regina Spektor album June 23rd.  I love her so.

To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others


Over at Naturally Nina, she asked what would your perfect day be.  Here's my own take on it, however I'm posing the question, if you could spend the entire day, with just yourself, what would you do?  I think we often are surrounded by so many people, in real life, and through our phones, the internet etc.  But what if we turned all that off and just spent some time with ourselves.  What would you do?

It just so happens I have the chance to do just that today.  Here are my plans:

Sit in my chair a bit longer, smelling the lilacs that grow just outside my window.  I love living here.


Take a deliciously long shower.  I haven’t really done this since Sunday (eeps!) My hair is crying out for a luscious lather, and I am going to indulge it.  I was going to hold off until I had "something to do or go to" but spending time with myself is enough of an event.


Sip some green tea and flip through Real Simple.


Work on my room a bit.  Pick out some photos to put in my Urban Outfitters frames that have sat in their box for about 6 months. 


Call Lisa, my midwifery friend.  Set up a time to have lunch and chat about her terribly interesting field, perhaps take steps to enroll in a program.


Walk to The Red Umbrella.  Order a Baraktea Chai (yes, it’s name after the president) and a light lunch.  Sit out side and read my new book.


Walk home, take the long way and appreciate the wonderful neighborhood I live in.  Oogle over the stately homes that surround my humble little apartment.


Check off somethings from my to do list.  They may not be fun right now, but I’ll feel better when I do.


Plan a fantasy trip to Portland.  Find a way to make it happen.


Ride my bike to Cheesman and journal under my tree until my hand cramps up.  Take a nap if the mood strike.


Pedal home.  Change into something comfortable and watch a favorite movie I haven’t seen in a while.

28 May, 2009

Through Painted Deserts



Just finished this tonight.  I absolutely loved it.  It's a far cry from his deep, theological ponderings in Searching for God Knows What.  It's just a story of a young man on a road trip in a VW van from Houston to Oregon, and what he finds a long the way. 

This is Miller's first book and you get to see some of where he gets the inspiration for his other two.  You read about conversations he had that sparked revelations featured in the other books.  And most of all, you get to see what a smart ass he was (possibly still is, I hope).  This book is quite funny.  It had me laughing out loud at parts.  

It's important to remember that the book is really more of a memoir of sorts.  A lot of criticism has been dealt out about it's lack of focus or point.  I disagree.  Sometimes sitting down with a clear direction in writing will get you nothing but a self help book.  I found a lot of really great insights here, that are simply from a young man, puzzling over his faith and the idea of "why" we are here versus "how."

My favorite part of the book is the "Author's Note."  An older Miller wrote it after they republished the book several years after it was published the first time.  It's basically his thoughts, looking back on his experiences as a young man during this adventure.  He writes words of encouragement to do the same, find an adventure.  He writes:

"And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play.  My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful inside of you, about learning to love a  woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God.  We get one story, you and I, and one story alone.  God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution.  It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it?  It might be time for you to go.  It might be time to change, to shine out.  I want to repeat one words for you:  leave."

After finishing the book, I realized I have no more Donald Miller's left unread on my bookshelf, and as I closed the cover for the last time, I truly felt like I was loosing a friend.  This is the mark of a good book, of an inspired author.  He has a new book coming out in August that I am terribly excited about.

I definitely recommend Through Painted Deserts to anyone, no matter your faith, there's something in there for everyone :)

Now my ever persistent longing to road trip to Portland (and possibly never come back), has returned.  But can you blame me?


On to Pride and Prejudice!

27 May, 2009

Random Thoughts This Wednesday


My summer reading list is getting a little out of control.  I need to prioritize, or rename it my "Books I Simply Want to Read at Some Point or Another."  Suggestions are still welcome.

I'm making big plans for my room in our apartment.  I need to talk to my landlord about some that are a bit more permanent than others.  Plans include:
  1. Chalkboard Paint on a weird, half-wall behind my chair.  This is where I write most of the time, so chalking up some quotes or ideas might be fun.
  2. Painting the rest of the walls a warm, muted yellow color
  3. Painting my white dresser a sage green, adding new hardware 
  4. Sewing a curtain for my door way (I don't have an actual door)
  5. Making a slip cover for my wonderfully comfortable, yet shabby (and not chic), arm chair
  6. This awesome wall decal:

I'd like to try for a secret garden, international, world market feel.  I'm still debating on what color the dresser should be.  I wanted purple with a gold speckle effect, but since it's the roommate's and she doesn't want to have to attempt to paint over that, the idea's been vetoed.  

I just wrote a few letters to my Compassion International child.  Her name is Akello Brenda and she is from Uganda.  Isn't she wonderful?  I'd love to visit her someday.

Band recomendation of the week (not that it's a weekly thing, but we'll see)- The New Frontiers.  This a horrible recomendation because they broke up a few months ago, but I don't care.  I love them dearly.  Their song Mirrors is truly magical. I would like Nathan (lead singer) to hold my hand and sing me to sleep every night. Listen and be inspired:


And I leave you with this:


PS- A rather hunky guy told me I have pretty eyes today.  It was in a completely friendly way, but it felt nice all the same :)

26 May, 2009

I’m sitting in a pillow of clovers, hoping to find my luck



I wrote this little short story today.  It's a little cheesy, but I think that's necessary every now and again.  Hope you like it and I'd love any feedback :)


Clovers

I’m at the park again, day dreaming.  It’s hard not to when the earth around me has exploded with green.  The trees are heavy-shouldered, weary from bearing the burden of a weekend full of rain.


I’m sitting in a pillow of clovers, hoping to find my luck.  In the midst of green are tiny white flowers, smaller than baby’s breath, and little purple buds, hiding beneath the overgrowth.  Those fuzzy flowers, the ones that lead to dandelions are here too.  Most people look at them and see weeds, but I see magic.  I love anything you can wish on.


Here, in my little patch of clover, I imagine a fair skinned beauty.  Sun dress fanned out around her, legs hidden by the clover and buds.  She’s reading  a book, Jane Austen probably, maybe a Bronte.  She’s not afraid of being cliche and sighs heavily as she holds the book to her chest and relishes in the mystery of where her Mr. Darcy might be.  She lies down, blanketed in green, with one arm over her delicate forehead as she gazes up at the sky.  The sun is desperately trying to make itself known to the world, and as it pushes the clouds aside, she closes her eyes and lets her skin drink in the light.  This is her Eden, her Utopia.  She feels like Mary Lennox in The Secret Garden, alive with nature and comfortable in her solitude.


Despite the many constants in life, solitude is rarely one of them.  She hears footsteps, slowly approaching.  They’re close, but not close enough to warrant a reaction on her part.  She tries to slip back into her dreamlike world, where only she, the clover and the sun exist, but it’s no use.  Her trance is broken.  The plurality of humans has always complicated man’s relationship with nature.


The footsteps are far enough away to mean they are not meant for her, but close enough to be annoying.  She silently curses her intruder and sits up, opening her eyes slowly as she goes. The light from the sun blinds her for a moment, her dark pupils shrink and a shadowy outline of a boy, maybe a man, comes into view.  She squints her eyes, wishing the process didn’t take so long to see things in the light after being in the dark as long as she had.


Finally the young man’s image comes into view.  She quickly falls back into her bed of foliage, taken aback by his strong, yet nonintrusive frame, his dark hair parted like he went to Yale and yes, even an alabaster brow.  She lay their silently, terrified by this man’s perfection.  A gentle, organic sound begins to float above her, whirling around with the wind like cherry blossoms, teasing her ears like nymphs.  He was playing the acoustic guitar.  


Perfect, she thinks.  Mr. Darcy has sat down next to me, I haven’t showered today and I’ve been laying in plants all afternoon.  A lady bug confidently crawls along her forearm, making her feel, more than ever, like a woodland creature.  There is only one way out of this, she decides as she promptly sits up again, completely in control of her faculties this time, and stands up with as much grace as any woodland creature I’ve ever seen.


This supposed Mr. Darcy quickly drops his hand from the neck of his guitar and looks in her direction.  She quietly brushes the dirt from the front of her dress and cautiously meets his gaze.


“Do you frequently emerge from foliage to scare the song right of men?  Or am I your first victim?”


His voice is smooth, the way water effortlessly glides over weathered pebbles in a stream.  She imagines how that might translate to his singing voice and almost forgets he had attempted a conversation with her.


“I’m sorry, it’s just I’ve sort of claimed this area as my own, I thought everyone knew.”  She cringes, slightly, at her attempt at wit, but he doesn’t miss a beat.


“Oh I see.  Well miss, I suppose the sign must be on it’s way because I don’t see anything here with your name on it.”


She revels in his calling her Miss.  Her mind shoots three years in the future, them lying in bed together, reading the newspaper and sipping french pressed coffee, and him calling her Miss, a nickname to remember the first day they met.


Her absent response due to daydreaming didn’t seem to phase him.  He added, “well I wouldn't dream of disturbing you and your clover, so I’d be happy to move to the other side of the park.”


“No!”  She almost interrupts him and winces at her bad timing.  “I mean, I have to leave any way, so I guess you can borrow it for today.  But this isn’t a time share mister.”


He smiles genuinely.

Oh God, he has dimples, she thinks.


“It’s a deal.  And thank you for your generosity...” he holds on to the remnants of the word, as if to ask a question.


“Ella,” she responds.  “My name’s Ella.”  she smiles a thankful sort of smile, exploding at the thought of actually getting to know this novel of a man.


“Pleasure to meet you Ella, I’m Henry.”


“Henry,” she repeats quietly, still smiling.


“Say, just so we don’t run into any border patrol issues in the future, is that bench past that tree over their fair game or is it part of the Kingdom of Ella?  I come here the same time every evening wouldn't’ want to make another embarrassing mistake.”  He smiles and winks at her.


Keep it together old girl.


“Hm.  I suppose so, but only if you can get there before Pete the pan hander claims it.  He’s a little territorial.”


“Well Pete and I will just have to discuss the logistics of sharing the bench, though I doubt it will be nearly as fun as it was with you.”  Another wink.  Her knees momentarily forget how to function.  She nods and smiles and walks away slowly, careful not to trip.  


Moments later she does trip though, over a tree root.  She wants to sink into the ground right then and there, and start living as a tree gnome, never to see this wonderful specimen of the human population again.


She did cycle her way to her spot of clover again the next day.  She arrived a little late hoping he would already be there, so she could redeem her exit with a flawless entrance.  No sign of him, but right where he sat the day before was a small piece of wood plunged into the ground with a hand painted sign that read “The Kingdom of Ella.  All trespassers will be sentenced to a lifetime with Pan-Handler Pete.”  Tied to the sign with a  purple string was a note Ella would always keep in a cedar jewelry box, explaining to her children and her children’s children how this wonderful man, with an alabaster brow, would come to love this fair skinned beauty, and forever call her Miss.


{all images courtesy of weareinfinate}

25 May, 2009

Searching for God Knows What


I just finished this a few minutes ago.  Donald Miller is by far one of my favorite authors.  He wrote Blue Like Jazz which walked me through a very bleak time in my life.  Searching for God Knows what is quite different from Blue Like Jazz, but Miller writes in the same style.  He has a way of making you feel as if you've somehow stumbled upon excerpts of his own inner dialogue.  I know people that love this way of writing and others that cannot follow it and give up two chapters in.  I happen to love it.

This book was harder for me to get through.  I wasn't hanging on every word, drinking in the beautiful ideas and sentiments as in Blue Like Jazz.  The two books are about different topics though so I suppose it's unfair of me to compare them like this.  Searching for God Knows What is deep, really deep.  Reading Miller's thoughts on why our society is competitive, petty and broken is mind boggling.  In the last chapter he shows how Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is actually a comparison to our faith in Christian Spirituality and what a relationship with Jesus should look like.  While reading, I spent most of my time wondering how the heck he comes up with this stuff, and imagining him lying in bed at night, puzzling over the mysteries of this world and that of the spiritual realm, and just generally being brilliant.

I'm really not one for religious books, and neither is Miller.  He talks at length about "religious formulas" and the the threat they have on our true spirituality.  He is clearly a post-modernist and I love that.  The book is about coming back to a true relationship with God, a love as good and pure as Romeo and Juliet's.  

I can also see why most conservative Christians don't support Miller and his ideas.  He did call the church a whore, but he was quoting Augustine.  Everything he wrote I really feel is true, on a very primitive human level.  Like he tapped into something so much deeper than anything that has attempted to explain the human condition in the psychological and sociological fields.  It's definitely worth a re-read once I can let some things sink in a little more.

Next up is either Through Painted Deserts (also by Miller) or The Power of One.  I'm a little burnt out on these spiritual books and would like something with a plot, but the last installment of my own little "Miller Trilogy" has more of an  On the Road feel and talks about his discoveries on a lot of issues through a road trip.  By the time I post my next review, you'll know what I chose :)

24 May, 2009

Stream of Consciousness and Thoughts on Journaling

On rare occasions I blog straight from my journal.  This is such an occasion.

I am in the middle of my first bike ride this summer.  No, I am not writing as I pedal.  I have parked myself under a lovely tree.  This may become "My Tree."  There's enough grass around it's base to let me get close enough for my back to meet the trunk.  Right where I've sat down there is a gap in the branches above, letting the sunlight flood in and around me.  Two labs have just come by to say hello and their owner is rather fetching.  A squirrel is galloping through the high grass and another is so kindly throwing nuts down from above.  

I've never excelled at the flowering descriptions of nature, poetry has always alluded me.  I always feel so contrived, like I'm trying to be someone I'm not, Emily Dickinson or something.  The truth is, when I look out across this park, with emerald grass, wise old tress and mysterious fountains, I see a different world, something so inspiring, so whimsical, it may be impossible to capture on paper.  I've always been this way with nature and parks, trees and rivers.  No one would peg me for a lover of the out doors, not even me.  But maybe it's the seclusion of it all.  It's just me and this tree... and you.

I'm not even sure who you are.  You don't judge, always listen perfectly, never interrupting my ramblings of despair or foolish declarations of love to impart on me your two cents, your opinions of my delusions.  You are so much more than blank paper.  You are a sounding-board, a therapist, a friend a canvas, an inspiration and with no effort at all, you reveal to me things I never knew were within me.  You never grow weary of my stream of consciousness and you never encourage censorship.  You have no fear of intimacy and transpose that fearlessness to me.  For a girl that is so "heady" all the time, you remain a dear friend always.  Your appearance may change, your pages may shrink or grow, but our relationship holds fast.  You are consistency when nothing is reliable.  You have seen my tears of sorrow and of joy and I swear I have felt you revel in my happiness and quake in my pain.  And for all of that, I thank you.



I am in love...

With the shirtless man, lying on his back, strumming his guitar
With the lazy labs who refuse to cooperate with their owner, who laughs and calls them "punks."
With My Tree
With this breeze that gently says to me "you are alive my dear."
With the feeling of my feet in the grass.
With the wrinkled tree bark.  It makes me wonder what these trees know about life, and would they share if they could.

22 May, 2009

Summer Reading List


Here's an incomplete list of what I hope to read through this summer.  I'm such a slow reader I probably won't even get through half, but we'll see.  I'll be posting my thoughts on each as I finish them.

Searching for God Knows What- Donald Miller
     Currently reading this.  It's tough but I'm about half way done.
Through Painted Deserts- Donald Miller
The Power of One- Bryce Courtenay
Catcher in the Rye- JD Salinger
Sex God- Rob Bell
Unchristian- David Kinnaman
Traveling Mercies- Ann Lamott
Purpose for the Pain- Renee Yohe
Harry Potter- All of them
     Definitely going to take more than the summer
The City of Dreaming Books- Walter Moers
Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen
On The Road- Jack Kerouac
The Paris Review Interviews, vol. 1
     A dear friend of mine loaned this to me a long time ago and I have yet to open it.  I feel horrible about that.
Jane Eyre- Charlotte Bronte
A Little Princes-  Frances Hodgson Burnett
     I need a new copy of this.  Mine is falling apart.  My favorite book by far.
The Joy Luck Club- Amy Tan
The Secret Life of Bees- Sue Monk Kidd
My Antonia- Willa Cather
She's Come Undone- Wally Lamb
Me Talk Pretty One Day- David Sedaris
People of the Whale- Linda Hogan
Captivating- John and Staci Eldredge
What We Talk About When We Talk About Love- Ray Carver
The Blue Cotton Gown- Patricia Harman
A Light in the Attic- Shel Silverstein

Suggestions are very much welcome :)

I ran across a lovely little gem created by the Aussies.  Frankie Magazine is an awesome little publication that I unfortunately cannot afford to have delivered to the states, but the website is fun all the same.

Last suggestion of the day- Go listen to Sia if you're into female singer songwriters.  She can be likened to Missy Higgins, Regina Spektor, etc.  The tone of her voice is much like Allison's from A Fine Frenzy, but the style is a bit different.  Enjoy and let me know what you think!

21 May, 2009

Day 1

Social Networking.  You are like heroine to me.  I need you in my veins hourly, injecting into me the sweet sweet release of knowing what exactly everyone is doing at the exact time they are doing it.  What is this fascination I’ve developed with the movements of others?  Why do I torture myself with attaining information I neither need nor want.  But I do want it, in a sick masochistic way, I want to burden my shoulders with the details of the new girlfriend, or with the song lyrics that may or may not be addressing me.  


That, right there, is why I had to let it all go.  I had to break this sick addiction of social networking.  Who knew a whole new vice could develop out of a simple need to keep up with old classmates and lost friends.  If there was such a thing as Social Networkers Anonymous, I’d join... and then I’d tweet about it.  Last night at around 11pm Mountain Standard time, my roommate Jackie switched all my passwords.  I can no longer log into Facebook, Myspace, or Twitter.  Not only do I not know what all of you beautiful people are doing, but you don’t know what I’m doing at any given moment of the day.  This, shockingly, is really affecting me.  I feel like I’m missing out on so many happenings.  Pictures are being uploaded, links are being posted, events are being created, John Mayer is saying embarrassing things and I am not privy to any of it!  And what’s worse, I feel like I am disappearing because I cannot inform my classmates, family, and strangers of what I had for lunch, the funny thing I heard on the radio, or how my night went.  Have I really linked my identity to my facebook page?  Have I fooled myself into believing that if my page does not exist, neither do I?  Will I simply slip away, out of the interworking of the world wide web, and perhaps out of real life too?  Or other people's perception of real life as dictated by the status gods.  Disconnecting myself from my facebook page and twitter status is important, and realizing life is too short to spend it “checking in” on people I should’ve left behind long ago is even more important.


So through a passing comment in a blog that crushed any fond memories I had of someone from my past, I came to see how much my self destructive behavior can truly damage who I am today.


Fare-thee-well Facebook and Friends.  I will see you in August.