My Attempt At Poetry

I am terrible at writing poetry.  Not the best way to tempt you to read what's coming, I know.  It's more of a warning really.  This is my first assignment for my creative writing class and I'd really love any feedback you have, including "this is the worst excuses for poetry I've ever read."  I probably wouldn't disagree with you ;) I think it's pretty self explanitory, but essentially I wrote it last night after seeing pictures of Mr. Long Distance with a new girlfriend.  More, non poetic thoughts on that later.

(Any thoughts on a different title?  I'm not a fan of this one)

The Result of Masochistic Behavior

You see his soft brown hands hold her thin frame

Panic stretches your lungs tight like the skin of a drum

It’s one of those moments you think God’s playing tricks

But then you realize it’s true and if there’s any way you can fade away

You do

You saw this coming

It doesn’t stop you from finding yourself in the fetal position

Alone in the dark

Again alone in the dark

Flashes of his lips on yours, on hers, on yours again, and then hers

You crumple over 

Wrenching in pain

You force your eyes open, taking in every piece of the scene

You want it to cut into you deep this time

Searing itself into your flesh and memory

So that maybe you’ll learn for once

That not even the bluest of eyes is worth this

So that maybe you won’t let it happen again

That song starts to play and you can smell him in your skin and on your sheets

Fire wouldn’t be strong enough

You will the tears to come as if his memory is inside of them

As if you can cry him away but 

They

Won’t
Come

Your brain vibrates against your skull

Wanting so badly to scream

Wanting to yell at him words that sound like hate and rhyme with betrayal

Wanting to take back every word you ever wrote him

Every secret you ever let your pen disclose

Every piece of you you let him have

You want it back

Because he just threw it way

Making room for new merchandise 

Your lungs forget what they are

With effort your chest rises up and down

You feel that anxious and angry thud against your ribs

And then you realize

It’s still there

It’s still working

A piece of you he wasn’t completely able to ruin