FuhRuhstrated

I am feeling very frustrated with school right now. I have been taking general education credits for about 3 years now and I'm still not done. That's not to say there is no validity in a class on Race and Ethics or Social Psychology, but when it comes down to it, I don't have to time to do the work so I do the bare minimum to pass (sometimes I don't even have time for that) and then I forget all of the information I sort of learned over the semester.

The most frustrating bit about it all is that because I am so busy faking my way through these required classes, I'm not writing and I'm not reading. Typically the last thing I want to do when I happen to be on top of my homework (which never happens) is engage my brain some more to write something brilliant and best selling. So I end up turning on a movie or watching reality television, which in turn is leaving me completely uninspired and heavy. So fellow writers and artists out there: How do/did you balance school work, life and writing? Because I am failing miserably at it.

In a perfect world this is what I really want:

• To meet and marry a man that I love, wears TOMS and drives a moped.
• He'll be some fancy architect or own his own publishing company in London that's doing fabulously well despite the world's economy.
• He'll make enough (but not too much) so that I can stay home. But don't worry, I'll learn how to cook and wear heels to make up for it (ouch, did I just set back feminism?)
• Fine, in the name of progression, I'll become a part time yoga instructor.
• I'll write eight hours a day everyday. But it won't be tedious or boring. It won't feel pointless. It will be like playing dress up and make believe.
• I'll learn how to do awesome things like make jams and sew my own clothes. I'll make my own stationary, but not that cheesy crap suburban mothers get together and make while they drink wine coolers and play bunko. No, mine will look like this. I'll teach myself how to paint, and I'll be terrible at first but the husband will put my creations on the refridgerator any way.
• Eventually I'll be so damn crafty I'll start making furniture and painting murals on all the walls in our house (all while writing 8 hours a day of course).
• We'll have a second house in Portland, but we're giving people and find it ridiculous to have two houses so I'll spend my time (when I'm not writing or being a carpenter/seamstress/jam maker) to turn it into a sober living facility or refugee housing for African women effected by the war in Northern Uganda.

And there you go. My future in a nutshell. I'll have stop using the law of attraction to NOT get swine flu so I can focus my attention on those little (and totally realistic) nuggets above.

I'm not getting my hopes up. In fact, I actually foresee myself squandering my time for the next two years, maybe longer because I'll inevitably fail a few classes and then graduate completely burnt out and uninspired, never write anything, end up marrying some guy I can sort of tolerate, work at walmart and die unsatisfied.

That was a little dramatic, I'm sorry. I really don't want this blog to turn into something incredibly negative, which is what it has been lately. All of it seems to stem from school. I'm ready to have nationwide healthcare so I can drop out again and still have insurance.

Do you want to know the REAL reason I'm sticking it out until I graduate? Graduation ceremonies remind me of Harry Potter. I will be suggesting we walk to the HP Theme song rather that Pomp and Circumstance and some how rigs candles on fishing wire and hang them from the ceiling.

Moral of this blabbering- I'm sorry for all the negativity and complaining. Blogs are an easy place to vent frustration but that doesn't mean that's all I should use this for. I promise to upload a picture of a cupcake or something I can't afford from Anthropology real soon.

{photo from here}